My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
