if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
