even my farts smell like vagina
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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