Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
