Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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