Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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