Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
