I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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