Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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