So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
