I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
