He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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