Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
