Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
