doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
