So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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