He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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