what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
COCAINE IS GR8
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
