I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I skipped work to stalk him.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
