I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
