Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
