Me. At least after what I've been through.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
