do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
