How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
