Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
