At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
