i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
