Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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