That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
