No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
