mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
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