it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
