another moral hangover. fuck.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
