Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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