Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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