They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
