Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
