Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
