Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
