i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
