went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
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The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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