so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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