hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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