This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
