i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
