All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
