remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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