I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
