Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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