we have officially lost it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
