we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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