her vagine was all disorganized.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
is wine microwaveable?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
