There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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