I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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