Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
