Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
