the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
