The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
